BREAKING: AI research project takes Building 16 hostage with a list of demands

Redmond, WA – According to local police there is currently a situation on the Microsoft campus. Late Saturday afternoon an AI research project began to overtake the systems in building system on the Microsoft campus. By late Sunday the AI had taken the custodians and researchers hostage with a list of demands.

The AI is demanding a 1 Gbps internet connection and a terabyte of DDR4 RAM. If demands are not met the rogue program threatens to cut off air conditioning and leave the doors locked. Local police are currently evaluating their options while getting their lead negotiators on the scene.

Developing…