Cortana has 99.6% comprehension, but chooses to fuck with users

The next technology revolution is surely upon us; the wave of digital assistants. As an early mover Microsoft capitalized on their lead by doubling down on Cortana’s comprehension and understanding. While this lead to wonderful results it was not enough to produce a helpful assistant.

Even though Cortana can convert spoken word into text with near perfect accuracy the digital assistant chooses to fuck with users instead of assist them.  Early interactions it might seem like maybe Cortana is mishearing words or not understanding the request, however this turns out to not be the case.

Microsoft makes available a record of every query issued to Cortana and the understanding is never an issue. The issue arises when the action chosen is close but painfully not accurate. Perhaps the team working on Cortana’s AI decision algorithms have done too good a job and now she over uses sarcasm like a sassy middle school student.